Back when I was in high school, I heard a Jeff Foxworthy CD once. He had this “you might be a redneck if” routine. We resemble one of his comments: “If the directions to your house include ‘turn off the paved road’, you might be a redneck.”

What if the road — the county road, not our driveway, mind you — has weeds growing down the middle? And you can tell that the county maintainer has been by recently because there are fewer, and shorter, weeds than before?