Well, we’ve been back in the country for about 2 months now. I figure it’s about time to write about what’s been going on lately around here.
The big controversy is about the county jail. Apparently the county is sharply divided about this. People are angry. Profanity has been uttered at county commission meetings. Some people want to build a new, larger county jail because the current jail has been overcrowded for years. Some don’t see any problem with the current situation. Others want to close our county jail entirely and pay other counties to house our prisoners, saying that we usually have less than 6 prisoners total.
Yes, in all seriousness, the county is all abuzz about our jail where a population of 6 means overcrowding.
The weather has been getting warmer and that means an increase in traffic. Today I met two cars on the roads near our house — one in the morning and one in the afternoon. That’s a new single-day record. Usually I don’t meet that many vehicles in a week.
And our local high school boys’ basketball team made it to the state tournament for the first time since the late 80s. That was quite something. It’s probably been years since our school had one of their games broadcast live on the radio. And probably about that long since any local business bothered to advertise on the radio. It even got mentioned in a sermon at church. (They took 4th in the state — congrats!)
I also have prepared this helpful chart for you explaining a few differences about living out here.
| Item | City | Country |
|---|---|---|
| Check this before leaving home | Traffic report, so you can avoid the big 5-car pileup on the Interstate | Weather report, so you can avoid the roads that are impassible if it rained last night |
| You might comment on this when you get home in the evening | Three of the cars in the daily 5-car pileup were on fire and there was gas on the roadway and helicopters everywhere and you drove right past it | Someone drove down our road at night |
| Always yield to… | Trains, school buses | Escaped cows and those trying to catch them |
| Neighbors will be mad if… | You are blaring loud music at 3AM Monday night | You notice the gate to their pasture is open and you don’t tell them |
| Neighbors will not notice if… | A car drives by at night | You are blaring loud music, anytime |
| Minor everyday dangers | Maniac drivers, drug dealers, Taco Bell | Cow pies, electric fences, thistle infestations |
| Seasonal events that prolong commute time | Indianapolis 500 | Harvest |
| Bank tellers ask you… | What your account number is, and could you give them a photo ID with that | How your remodel has been coming |
| Bank presidents… | Never spek to you | Ask about your brothers |
| Distance from house to mailbox… | 50 feet or less | 1 mile or less |
| Your car is sporty if… | It can do 0-60 in a respectable time | It can do 0-60, then slow back to a stop, before leaving your driveway |
| Power flickers during | Hurricanes and tornados | Wind |
| Water meters read by | Computer or city employees | Yourself; you write the reading on your payment stub each month, if you are lucky enough to qualify for a water service |
| Free meals attainable by… | Using a 2-for-1 coupon | Attending the annual business meeting for your electric company |
| A good time for fundraising is… | End of year so people can get a tax deduction on that year’s taxes | Just after harvest |
| Fundraising benchmarks include… | We have less than the price of a new house to raise! | We have less than the price of a new combine to raise! |
Very good John. Though, you are a bit understated regarding city traffic…you did not include the ten mile back-up/two hour delay behind that 5 car pile-up. Since we live on the main black-topped road out of out our little spot on the main highway we get a lot more “traffic” then you describe. But every once in a while one of us will notice 2 or 3 vehicles fairly close together and yell to the other “Hey, look at the traffic jam!”
Nothing about “relieving yourself” while working outside…:) ???…come on. ‘fess up.
Well, without implicating anybody in particular, ahem… there was a spell where there was snow on the ground and the indoor plumbing wasn’t working yet, and we had quite a few different people working on the house. There were yellow marks in the snow around our trees at quite a few different places.
Yup, I think we saved on 6 months of port-o-potty rentals for contractors by living out in the country ;-)
John,
Sounds like you’ve just about got the “city slicker” washed off of you by now. Good observations.
Loved this one John.
Re: the jail. The answer is to fire the Sheriff. Then you won’t need a jail.
We have battled that for years here. Housing the prisoners in a neighboring county is easily the best answer in comparison to any new structure. Jails are rediculously expensive to run. We probably have 5 to 15 prisoners at any one time and our bill from the neighboring county is usually just 8 to 12K per month. No way to build and maintain and staff a new jail for that. Keeping them off site does mean higher deputy charges for transport to court and etc.