Best $70 We’ve Spent In Quite Awhile

Today we got to see the first ever live broadcast of A Prairie Home Companion from Kansas, at the Kansas State fair.

It was great to see the show in person (second time for me; I also saw it at Purdue back in 2001). All the jokes about Kansas were fun, too. And they even recovered fine when — I kid you not — the wind at the grandstand blew all their music, notes, and scripts away. Twice.

Cliff, if you were listening, the bit about the bloggers for some reason made me think of you ;-)

I’d like to close this post with this, posted by NotInKansasAnymore to the discussion board for tonight’s broadcast:

You’re a true Kansan if:

1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

2. You have never met any celebrities (Bob Dole isn’t a celebrity;
he’s your neighbor.)

3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk.

4 Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away and you can still

see him from your front porch.

5. You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Cimmaron,
Schoenchen, Kechi and Osawatomie.

6. Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair or to Abilene
to Ike’s museum.

7. A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a
four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the

other go first.

8. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F10 4×4 is.
(Except in Johnson County)

9. You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your
car.

10. The terms Sooners and Huskers cause hairs on the back of your
neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise.

11 You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

12. You think people who complain about the wind and weather in
their states are SISSIES!

13. You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and
bait all in the same store.

14. You know that the true value of a parking space is not
determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of

shade.

15. You have been asked, “Where is Toto” more than once.

16. You had at least one summer job that was bucking bales or
custom cutting.

17. More than once you’ve made a beer run to another state.

18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned to multiply.

19. Your school classes have been canceled because of the cold.

20. You know in your heart that K-State can beat Oklahoma in
football.

21. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the
highway.

22. You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

23. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

24. Your school classes have been canceled because of the heat.

25. You have ridden the school bus for more than an hour each way.

26. In August, you break a sweat the instant you step outside at
7:00 a.m.

27. You instantly know someone is from Johnson County when they
call everything west of Topeka… “Western” Kansas.

28. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard
and look for a funnel.

29. You know the real way to pronounce the name of the river…
arKANSAS.

30. You think the opening day of pheasant season is a national
holiday.

31. “Vacation” means going to Kansas City or Wichita for the
weekend.

32. You measure distance in hours.

33. You know several people who have hit more than one deer.

34. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

35. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
both unlocked.

36 You think of the major food groups as beer, beef and beans.

37. You carry jumper cables in your car and make sure your better

half knows how to use them.

38. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

39. You know the four seasons as: summer, road construction, still
summer, winter.

40. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when
you’re in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

41. You lock the doors to your truck but leave the windows rolled

down.

42. You call sodas just plain ol’ “Pop”!!

43. FINALLY….. you are 100% Kansan if……….. You actually
understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from
Kansas.

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